5th and 6th Commandment 

The Fifth Commandment introduces us to a series of Commandments that define proper relationships with other people. Six of the Commandments (the fifth through the 10th) serve as the standards of conduct in areas of human behaviour that generate the most far reaching consequences on individuals, families, groups and society. Our abuse and exploitation of each other is appalling. The intensity and magnitude of the violence among ourselves is inexcusable. We desperately need to reverse the horrifying results of our inability to get along with each other. We need to learn how to work together harmoniously in every area of life to build stable, loving and lasting relationships.

Establishing the rudimentary principles by which workable relationships can be built is the objective of the last six Commandments. They define with stark clarity the areas of behaviour in which human nature creates the biggest roadblocks to peace and cooperation. They provide us with the guidance we need to remove those roadblocks. The Fifth Commandment sets the tone for the last six. It addresses the importance of our learning to treat each other with respect and honour.Learning respect for others

Learning responsibility for our own conduct and character is the beginning of good relationships. Our character, which drives our conduct begins to form during our childhood. It is during our formative years that our attitudes governing our personal desires in relation to the desires and needs of others is shaped and moulded. That is the primary focus of the Fifth Commandment: the importance of learning to respect others while we are still children.The Fifth Commandment shows us from whom and how the fundamentals of respect and honour are most effectively learned. It guides us to know how to yield to others, how to properly submit to authority and how to accept the influence of mentors. That is why the apostle Paul wrote: “Honour your father and mother; (which is the first Commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.” Ephesians 6:2-3Learning to obey this Commandment helps children establish a lifetime pattern of respecting proper rules, traditions, principles and laws. Honouring others should be a normal, natural habit learned during youth. The universal application of this important biblical principle is plain. We read: “Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.” 1 Peter 2:17. It all begins with the respect and honour we show our parents.

The role of a parentGod places the primary responsibility for teaching children the basic principles of life directly on the shoulders of parents. The ability of mothers and fathers to succeed in this responsibility depends significantly on how much they in turn submit to God's instruction and teaching and show love and respect for Him. Remember, four Commandments that emphasize the importance of a personal relationship with God precede the Commandment to give honour to our parents. After all, God is our ultimate Parent. Notice how God challenged the spiritual leaders of ancient Israel: “A son honoureth his father, and a servant his master: if then I be a father, where is mine honour? and if I be a master, where is my fear?…” Malachi 1:6. As our Creator God is the Father of us all.

We who are parents should first think of ourselves as children as in the children of God. It is just as important for us to respect and obey our heavenly Father as it is for our children to respect and obey us. Only then is it possible for us to fully grasp our role as the spiritual leaders of our children. When we first honour and obey God, we set the proper example for our children. They can then develop habits of respect and obedience by observing our example and applying what they are taught. Children internalize beliefs and behaviours best if they see a strong continuity between the example and the instruction of their parents and teachers.The missing link in child-rearing God's instruction to parents makes this clear: “And you shall love the LORD your God with all thine heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. 6 And these words, which I command you this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And you shall teach them diligently unto your children, and shall talk of them when you sittest in thine house, and when you walkest by the way, and when you liest down, and when you risest up.” Deuteronomy 6:5-7. The implication is clear: Only when we hold right principles in our hearts can we as parents successfully instil them in our children.Throughout the Bible, especially in the Proverbs, we find many instructions and principles about how we should treat and honour each other. We should regularly discuss these in our families and apply them to the real life situations our children face every day. These discussions should be interactive allowing the children to freely ask questions that we as parents should help them resolve using biblical principles as thoroughly and accurately as possible (Deuteronomy 6:20-21). It is by treating children with dignity and respect in an interactive process that they learn how they should treat others and why their attitudes and behaviour should reflect love and concern for them. Parents who assist their children in searching God's Word to verify the foundation of the family's values are teaching them how to rely on God's judgment instead of trusting their own emotions, whims and desires.Children and especially teenagers search for their own place in society. They need guidance, instruction and love and reassurance. Parents should not ridicule them. Paul cautions parents and especially fathers not to “provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4. Parents need to carefully combine a firm insistence that their children obey the rules of courtesy and respect with an abundance of patience and gentleness. This loving combination is the missing link in child rearing.Helping children establish their identity

Children need constant encouragement and frequent acknowledgment of their successes and achievements. Above all, they need plenty of love and praise to help them develop a strong personal identity that reflects a positive and hopeful outlook toward life. Keep in mind that children do not all respond to different types of praise in the same way. Some can better develop a positive outlook when praise focuses on them and on their abilities and areas of competence rather than on individual achievements. Praise focused heavily on accomplishments only such as grades in school may engender an unhealthy sense of insecurity. Some may perceive that they are acceptable only if they perform exceptionally and that they are loved only when their efforts are perfect. This type of praise may have the opposite effect from what was intended.

As parents, we should rejoice with our children in their achievements. We should share their successes. But we should be careful to direct our praise specifically toward them as individuals. We should tell them when we are pleased with them. This bolsters their confidence that it is possible for them to please us and God. They perceive themselves as being acceptable and appreciated. It gives them hope in their future and assurance in their own identity. They are then far more likely to have confidence in us as parents and return to us the praise and honour that fulfils the Fifth Commandment. It is their beginning of a proper and positive relationship with the rest of humanity and ultimately with God.

Honouring our parents as adults

Honouring our parents doesn't cease when we become adults. It is a lifetime commitment. As they get older this may include physically caring for them and, as necessary, helping financially support them. Jesus criticized those in His day who neglected making appropriate provisions for the care of their elderly parents. “And he said unto them, Full well you reject the Commandment of God, that you may keep your own tradition. 10 For Moses said, Honour your father and your mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death: But you say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever you mightest be profited by me; he shall be free. And you suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother; Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which you have delivered: and many such like things do you.” 

Honouring grandparents

We and our children should be sure we do not neglect honouring our grandparents. They have contributed significantly to our lives, and most grandparents cherish their grandchildren. We should find opportunities to spend time listening to and asking questions of our grandparents. Conversations with them are like treasures because they help us better understand and appreciate our origins. Grandparents love for their grandchildren to show interest in them. Children who honour and love their grandparents broaden their understanding of people and life.

Reaping the benefits

When Moses reviewed the Ten Commandments with the people of Israel, he commented on another blessing, in addition to long life, for keeping the Fifth Commandment: “Honour your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you; that your days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with you, in the land which the LORD your God giveth you.” Deuteronomy 5:16

We the children are the beneficiaries when we honour our parents. This is the Commandment with the wonderful promise that life will go better for us if we simply obey it. Families are the building blocks of societies. Strong families build strong societies and nations. When families are fractured and flawed the sad results are tragic and reflected in newspaper headlines every day. Any individual or group, including whole nations that understands the importance of strong families reaps the reward of an improved relationship with and blessings from God.

What makes human life precious? Consider it from God's point of view. He made us in His own image for the purpose of creating in us His own character. For that reason He is “not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9. Compare 1 Timothy 2:4 As Jesus Christ explained, “God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.” John 3:17

In our world however, human life is so often treated with indifference. We settle our differences with war, killing hundreds of thousands of other people in the process. Criminals steal not only possessions but their victims' lives. So many people view an unwanted pregnancy as simply an inconvenience or an unexpected consequence of their sexual activity that millions of unborn babies are aborted every year.

What a sad contrast to our Creator who promises us the greatest gift possible, the opportunity to share eternal life with Him. The murder of the day is commonly the first topic featured on television news program, especially in larger cities. Many such slayings are committed by family members or formerly close associates or friends. Random killings from gang and street violence add to the climate of fear in many communities. Homicides linked to other crimes and drugs are all too common. Untold thousands around the world fall victim to mass murder in the name of politics and ideology. Murder touches the life of almost everyone on earth.

In supposedly advanced societies, television and motion pictures barrage citizens with murders and carnage. Violence is so inextricably woven into the fabric of society that we glamorize it in our literature and entertainment. It's ironic that in spite of our fascination with murder, we follow the example of most societies throughout history in passing strict laws against it. Few people indeed have ever needed to be convinced that murder within their own community was wrong. However, other challenges concerning the value and sanctity of human life tend to generate controversy, particularly the execution of criminals by the state. Is capital punishment the same as murder? And what does God say about war? Why did God allow ancient Israel to take human life in battles with other nations? Was that a violation of the Sixth Commandment?

The real issue

At the heart of these questions is this issue: Who possesses the authority to take human life? Who has the right to make that decision? The emphasis in the Sixth Commandment is on the word you. You shall not murder! You are not to deliberately kill premeditatedly or in the anger of the moment. We must control our tempers. Taking another person's life is not our right to decide. That judgment is reserved for God alone. That is the thrust of this Commandment. God does not allow us to choose to wilfully, deliberately take another person's life. The Sixth Commandment reminds us that God is the giver of life, and He alone has the authority to take it or to grant humans permission to take it.

The Sixth Commandment does not specifically apply to manslaughter, deaths caused accidentally through carelessness or other unintentional actions. Such deaths although serious occurrences are not considered by the laws of God or man to fall into the same category as premeditated murder.

Justice versus mercy

God's preference is for us to be merciful. He is especially merciful to anyone who repents. “Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live.” Ezekiel 33:11. That is how God thinks. That is the way He wants us to think. When her accusers brought a woman caught in the act of adultery to Jesus, what was His reaction? Her accusers would have gladly stoned her to death had Jesus agreed to that punishment. Such was the penalty allowed by law for such an offence. But although He in no way condoned her sin, neither did He condemn her to death. Instead He commanded her to “go and sin no more.” John 8:11. He showed mercy and gave her the opportunity to reconsider how she was living and change her ways to avoid the judgment to come. Eventually we must all give account of ourselves before God. James warns us, “So speak you, and so do, as they that shall be judged by the law of liberty.” James 2:12. God will eventually administer justice to all who refuse to repent.

God's mercy, His forgiveness remains available to sinners including murderers. God wants to extend forgiveness to us. But He also wants us to repent and to wholeheartedly forsake breaking His Commandments and turn to Him in sorrow and humility. We are then to ask for forgiveness and submit to the ordinance of baptism. Baptism serves as an act of confirmation that we consider the old self as dead and buried in a watery grave with Christ (Acts 2:38; Romans 6:4).

The calling and conversion of the apostle Paul is a wonderful illustration of God's mercy and forgiveness. Paul had personally cast his vote for the execution of Christians before his conversion (Acts 26:10). Yet God forgave him, making him an example from that time forward of His great mercy. Paul tells us about himself: “…I was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious: but I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. 14 And the grace of our Lord was exceeding abundant with faith and love which is in Christ Jesus. 15 This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief. 16 Howbeit for this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show forth all longsuffering, for a pattern to them which should hereafter believe on him to life everlasting.” 1 Timothy 1:13-16

What about capital punishment?

For certain offences, God's law permits constituted government authorities to impose capital punishment. When the state abides by God's principles, this action does not violate the Sixth Commandment. By giving us His laws, God has revealed His judgment on this matter. He has revealed in advance, which offences deserve the sentence of death and He has established strict parameters for such decisions. For example, a felon's guilt must be undeniably corroborated with solid evidence and or witnesses before he should be sentenced.

The apostle Paul reaffirms the state's authority to inflict capital punishment. “For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Will you then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and you shall have praise of the same: 4 For he is the minister of God to you for good. But if you do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.” Romans 13:3-4

Christian responsibility

Rather than abolishing the law, Jesus Christ showed its spiritual intent and application. He expanded the requirements of the law making them significantly more demanding. The Commandment against murder is an example. Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: 22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, You fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.” Matthew 5:21-22

Christ amplified the meaning of murder to include bitter animosity, contempt or hateful hostility toward others. Merely harbouring malicious attitudes toward others violates the intent of the Sixth Commandment. Why? Because this is mental and emotional warfare, the desire to see a fellow human being suffer. Using words and speech to emotionally injure other people is equally wrong. With our tongues and pens we attack them verbally. We assault their feelings. We annihilate their respectability. We damage their reputations. At times we can be consumed with destructive intentions. Our motives can be diametrically the opposite of love. The spirit of murder can live in our hearts and Jesus tells us the consequences for such thoughts and actions could be our own death in the lake of fire. Yet we should not retaliate against those who resent or verbally attack us. Paul tells us: “Recompense to no man evil for evil… 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Romans 12:17-19. Even in times of war a Christian is expected to live by a higher standard than the world around him.

Overcoming evil with good

Paul instructs us on the proper approach to thoughts of retaliation, “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21. This should be the approach of every believer in Jesus Christ. It is the way of love that fulfils the intent of the law of God. “Blessed are the peacemakers,” Jesus tells us, “for they shall be called sons of God.” Matthew 5:9. How can we put this principle into practice? “You have heard that it has been said, You shall love your neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That you may be the children of your Father which is in heaven…” Matthew 5:43-45

God wants us to go far beyond avoiding murder. He requires that we not maliciously harm another human being in word or deed. He desires that we treat even those who choose to hate us as respectfully as possible and do all within our power to live in peace and harmony with them. He wants us to be builders, not destroyers of good relationships. To accomplish this we must respect this wonderful gift of the precious possession of human life.